Okay, so let’s be clear about this: reading is not necessary. It does not satisfy any need, it’s not as if there’s this primordial aspect of humanity that it defines and explores. It does make you smarter, more culture, more empathetic, but all of these are optional. You can be dumb and live and long and happy life.
That being said, in a world where people read, on average, a book per year, here are some incredibly dumb reasons to read…
You can make good use of a book when the Wi-Fi’s down. And there’s no electricity. And it’s night. And you only have a small lamp. You’re also broke as hell, so you can’t go out. That’s when reading a book comes most in handy. Or maybe not.
If you have a kid and want to read them a bedtime story. You might enjoy this. Or maybe not, and years later you’ll disgrace yourself in front of a child when you’ll exclaim that Chopin was a great poet.
You’re cleaning the house, and you stumble upon a book under the bed. Or behind the couch. Or in a closet. And while you sit down for a minute or two you skim through this strange artifact you just found.
When waiting for the subway. Or train. Or bus. And your smartphone’s at 2% battery.
On the toilet. Because you used to take your phone with you, but after dropping it a few times, now it’s best to use something a lot less expensive to pass the time.
In case you want to appear smart. It’s okay if only you carry a book with you at all times. You never read it though.
If you want to impress a potential girlfriend/boyfriend.
If you actually want to know where all the cool quotes on Instagram come from.
This post is not to be taken seriously. I’m serious about this. Do not take this post seriously.